CCM: We can relate.
JS: Yes! [Laughs] Dan, our bass player, was very supportive. He finally said, “Man, I think you need to stop.” And I’m like, “What do you mean stop? Like, what does that even mean?” And he was like, “I think you just need to stop writing.” And I’m like, “I would love to stop writing, but we need a record and you know, this stuff.” And he said, “No, no, no—just stop for a bit and if that means the record takes an extra year, then it takes an extra year. If it means that we never do it, then it means we never do it, but this can’t cost you this.” I didn’t take a year off or anything like that, but I just went home and sort-of refocused and allowed myself to breathe a little bit. And that’s when I tapped into that notion of writing from a different perspective that we were just talking about. That ended up leading me down the path of actually being able to finish the record.
For anyone who wrestles with depression, I feel like the lesson is that when you’re in the middle of things, hopelessness does feel final and unchangeable. It feels certain. And that’s generally not true. If you start talking about [feeling this way], it might feel awkward. I felt awkward talking about it, because I felt like, “Well, if I say ‘I’m depressed,’ is that me drawing attention to myself in a weird way? Is that me making excuses in a weird way?” It was really uncomfortable, but that resulted in Dan allowing to throw in his support and advice, which I really needed at the time. So, to anyone out there wrestling with depression, talk about it with someone who cares about you—with someone that’s a safe place—and I think you’ll find that you have a lot more support than you’ve realized. You’ll find that hope is a lot closer than you thought.
CCM: Let’s talk about miracles. To put you on the spot, what is a miracle that you experienced today? This week? This month?
JS: Here’s one thing I do think about miracles. What we call a “miracle,” we usually think about these really big, miraculous things that can’t be explained by science or something. And those things, I do believe happen. But I also think that God works in subtle ways. Like I said earlier, I feel like He’s really mysterious and we don’t like mystery. We like understanding everything and even in the church, we like quantifying God. But He’s mysterious.
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