I’ve been married for fourteen years. Am I really being the husband that my wife needs to be? Or, am I more focused on my career and my music? Am I really being the dad my kids need me to be? Do they know that I see them, that I care about them, and that they matter to me? So, those are some of the kind-of hard-hitting questions that I’ve been asking myself, and that’s how these songs were born out of my own personal soul searching on what it looks like for me to be “all in,” not just look like I’m all-in to an audience of fans that listen to my music.

CCM: Surprisingly, we have never heard of the phrase, “professional Christian” before…
MW: I just came up with that one day when I was writing the book because the it was all about different names that are on our “name tags,” and different identities that we tend to allow to define us—false identities, and a lot of the stuff you’d think about. For example, if I asked you, “What are some false identities that the devil’s tried to make you believe about yourself?” Well, a lot of times, we would immediately go to the names of “bad” and “negative” stuff, the stuff that’s related to sin in our lives, shame, or past mistakes the enemy tries to get us to believe. Like, “We’re too far gone,” and, “We messed up too many times and God doesn’t love us anymore,”…that kind of stuff.

But sometimes, it’s the stuff that looks good on the surface that can actually be the most dangerous. So, honestly, being that “professional Christian” was what I felt like the Lord was showing me about myself, and that’s what I am. I’m not proud of it. If I’m being honest, I learned [how to be] that at a young age. As a preacher’s kid, I knew that if I raised my hands during the slow songs in worship, other parents would probably elbow their kids and be like, “See, why can’t you be more spiritual like the preacher’s kid?”
Matthew West, CCM Magazine - image
But deep down, was I really worshiping God, or was it just for the appearance of it? Fast forward, I’m a contemporary Christian singer, and I wonder how many other contemporary Christian singers have struggled with that same thing—where we just “turn it on.” We get on stage. We turn it on. You become that “thing,” but then your personal walk with the Lord is nowhere near as vibrant and alive as you portray it to be during your concert. So, that’s me just speaking from the heart, just saying, “I’ve got, ‘call that what it is,’ in order for me to rise above and become something other than that.

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