When they began their musical journey, they burned up the road, clocking in a whopping 280 dates annually. Unsurprisingly, that schedule took a toll on their family lives and their overall enthusiasm for what they were doing.

“We were feeling completely burned out,” Havens recalls. “We had a show once with Casting Crowns and I spoke with Mark Hall. I asked him how he did this. I shared that I felt like I wasn’t home enough and I wasn’t a part of my kids’ spiritual life.

“Hall’s answer was short and sweet—basically, you don’t have to do it this way. You can change it.”

Taking a hint from Hall, who has remained the full-time youth pastor at his home church throughout Casting Crowns’ musical foray, the guys backed off the road, turned their attention towards home and began reaping benefits beyond what they could have ever imagined.

“When we made our priorities right and started focusing on being better parents, that’s when God blessed The Afters the most,” says Havens. “We are very intentional with how we tour and how we spend our time. God told us to be musicians, but that’s not number one. We care called first to love Him, to be great husbands and fathers and to make sure we are honoring the things God calls us to honor.”

Their refined priorities have led them to experience an unusual closeness through the years. Whereas many bands go their separate ways when not on-stage, The Afters actually hang out together. Their families are friends and their relationships are deep.

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